


"Sweet Dee gets revenge"

by glacecherie



Category: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Genre: Angst, Love Confessions, M/M, Misunderstandings, Pranks
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-26
Updated: 2017-08-16
Packaged: 2018-12-07 09:04:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,627
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11620347
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/glacecherie/pseuds/glacecherie
Summary: Dennis and Mac's monthly dinner is turning out to be the best one they've ever had. Until it isn't.





	1. Chapter 1

Dennis gets the joke.

It had been impeccably planned, he'd admit. Vengeance for the prank they pulled on Sweet Dee, superstar comedian. Beautiful in its simplicity and savagery, even. 

After all, what would Dennis, architect of the D.E.N.N.I.S system, fear more than commitment? 

What would he fear more than having said commitment announced in a public setting? 

What could be worse than having to wrangle his way out of such a scenario without causing the kind of scene that would get him banned from his favourite restaurant for good?

Plenty, it turned out. 

Dennis has been stood in his kitchen forever, staring blankly at the coffee he made but has no desire to drink, going over every detail of the evening.

His and Mac's monthly dinner.

Stumbling, achingly genuine confessions of love, of Mac saying screw it to whatever blossoming, happy relationship he had with Rex, because Dennis was kind of it for him.

How he just couldn't live his life looking back and thinking "what if?"

Mac's hand squeezing his across the table. 

Stealing glances at him over his menu when he wasn't looking and - 

He doesn't want to keep thinking about it, but his brain has other ideas. Clearly, going over every minute detail is the thing to do.

Hesitantly laying his head on Mac's shoulder in the taxi back to Paddy's and then-

Dennis digs his nails deep into his palms. 

Walking into the bar, thinking about maybe putting something on the dukebox whilst Mac went to get his wallet and the jacket he'd left behind.

Only to find Dee and Charlie and Frank laying in wait, and have Dee pull a single party popper at him, them all having a good laugh.

It had taken a few seconds to sink it and make sense.

Why wasn't Mac still holding his hand, why had Dee handed him a beer and $50, why was - 

Oh.

He'd masked it nearly instantly, of course he had - after all, he counts acting amongst his many talents. They hadn't suspected a thing.

But now he just feels - fucking raw, scraped out, exposed. 

He'd really thought that - 

I mean, he has to - fuck, his eyes are stinging.

Stupid goddamn Dior and their non-waterproof mascara, who even wants non-waterproof nowadays?

He has to hand it to Mac though, really. That had been some good acting, even by his standards. The way he'd made it sound so fucking real, the thumb brushing back and forth over his knuckles when he'd held Dennis' hand. 

Pressing a kiss into Dennis' hair in the cab as the streetlights cast surreal patterns on them, and something suspiciously like tenderness had settled over him. Over them, just them, in that tiny and quiet pocket of time.

Dennis flinches.

He thinks if how warm Mac had been against his side, and thinking _I get to have this I get to have this I get to have this I get to-_

He stifles a sob and scribs at his eyes with his sleeve. 

He gets the joke. It just hadn't been funny.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dennis is fine, Mac is fine, everything is fine.

Dennis had allowed himself one hour to be sad about it. He'd gone to Dee's and let himself in with a stolen key as the party at Paddy's raged on. 

He couldn't face going back to his and Mac's apartment when he doesn't trust that not to be an elaborate joke too. 

Hey Dennis look, it's our sleepwear tangled together under the pillows of OUR bed!!

It's the bathrobe I leant you but you never gave back-

It's the Christmas ornaments you insisted we buy because the ones we already own are too tacky for your taste-

No.

He goes to Dee's and sits on the sofa in the dark and feels hollow. He hurts in a very blunt sort of a way.

He's not going to live this down. It's going to be joke fodder for the next century, and he'll have to act like it doesn't bother him in the slightest.

He breathes out, and it's shaky.

-

The next day he starts looking for apartments of his own. It'll only be more humiliating if he lets the whole charade continue. 

He's not sure he can bear sleeping by Mac for much longer anyway, not when his dreams replay the exact chilling moment the affection was taken away - Mac releasing his hand and going along the line of them, getting high fives.

He's being absolutely pathetic and weak. It shouldn't bother him - he's a golden god, made clean and untouchable by his refusal to be tied down by emotions! This is water off a duck's back.

(The worst one, where Mac had wrapped his arms around him from behind and laid a kiss against his jaw and he'd felt something warm and light in his chest comes into sight behind his closed eyelids, and Dennis slams his hand on the kitchen sideboard.)

-

The next day he gives his reservations for Guiginos to Mac, and isn't even surprised when he's hesitant to take them, expecting a trap or a savage trick or a comment so cutting it draws blood.

That's what Mac really thinks he is, heart of hearts, even when there's nobody but the two of them around. 

It feels like being knifed. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oooooops apparently this wasn't a oneshot at all! Please be kind! ♡


	3. Chapter 3

Dennis wakes up on Valentines day and just lays there in the darkness for a good 20 minutes. Through the gap in the curtain he can just make out the reddish streaks of the sun coming up.

  
Next to him, Mac snuffles in his sleep and stretches a little, arm coming to rest over Dennis' waist. His fingers curl in his t-shirt, then still.

If he lets himself slip into some maladaptive daydream, this is perfect. He's warm but not too warm, and he doesn't have to be up for hours yet. He could get a coffee then come back to bed and doze. He could roll onto his side and pull Mac's arm around him until he's pressed close along his back. He could -

He could stop being such a fucking dumbass and get it together. He could get the fuck over this if he actually tried. This is just a bump in the road, just his bruised ego talking, moping. He isn't hurt. This doesn't really hurt.

He bites his tongue against the stupid, pathetic noise that's stuck in his throat, hand hovering over where it had gone to grab at Mac's. See, even that doesn't look right. His pale, skinny hand trembling over Mac's, wanting to slot their fingers together and pretend like a fucking creep.

This whole thing, this warmth, it isn't for him, and he'd do well to remember that.

-

Dennis spends most of the day twitchy and irritable and eager for Mac to leave.

He won't stop going on about how cool Rex is and how great it is that they just get each other man, yknow?

He can't stop himself when he snaps out something about how good it is someone can put up with him, and he laughs.

Mac doesn't even flip out when he's told that his shirt looks vile and unflattering.

When Dennis walks past the bedroom door later, Mac is fiddling with all his cheap bottles of aftershave, grouped together next to where Dennis has his skin care routine set up.

" _I wore two colognes_ " echoes in his head, and he feels the phantom warmth of Mac leaning close over the restaurant table, hears the false platitudes.

_"Dude, I always thought we'd end up together, I always knew it. I'm just...I've wanted this for so long, Den. Just us. Just us-_

He swallows hard.

-

When he finally goes, Dennis reaches into his bag and pulls out a slim black file. He's done all the paperwork. If Mac just signs in the dotted line, the lease is his and his alone.

Dennis has wired him enough cash for 3 months rent, which is very generous if he does say so himself.

He just wants this to be over so he can get back to doing what he does best; fucking chicks and day drinking.

He tells himself that when he lets them drop from his hand to the table, that will be it. He'll start getting out of whatever funk this whole goddamn episode has put him in. It's been two months, nearly. He has no right still being absolutely pathetic and sad. 

It isn't as though anything physically injured him. He wasn't hopitalised or operated on or some shit. He wasn't hurt. He doesn't hurt. It's only his pride that's take a knock.

He can't let go of the stupid wad of documents. Sometime in the last few seconds he's began to clutch them in an iron grip. 

He thinks of how warm he'd been just that morning. If he just kept up the pretence that he's not still annoyed about something petty that happened an age ago, he could have that for as many days as it takes for Mac and Rex to take the next logical step and get a place together. He could have that a bit more. Just a little longer. 

Dennis whines. He doesn't know what to do. He doesn't want to let go.

Then he thinks of how he'd almost grabbed for Mac's hand this morning. How unseemly his own had looked above it. How unbelonging. He thinks of what would happen if he told Mac that things haven't been the same since the prank. How he's having feelings again and he doesn't know what theu are but they don't feel good and the dread that stalks him won't go away and -

The best case scenario reaction he can picture is one of bemusement.

Just like that, his grip releases.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pfff, more angst. Not sure if this one will have a happy ending or not yet. Also trying to balance Actual Dennis feels too much" with the Dennis he presents to everyone is harder to with than you may think! I hope this is at least somewhat accurate. 
> 
> Thank you so much for reading :)

**Author's Note:**

> Aaaaaaaaaaaa my first fic in this fandom, I'm so nervous, please be gentle!
> 
> FYI the time period for this is purposefully vague as I wasn't quite sure when I wanted it set.
> 
> Thank you for reading! <333


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